Strangely Dim

O soul, are you weary and troubled?

No light in the darkness you see?

There's light for a look at the Savior

And life more abundant and free

Our Companions

When the movie Inside Out 2 first made its debut, I remember sitting around a room full of people and asking one another, "If I were an emotion, which one would I be?"

Immediately, we singled out one of my friends as "Anger." If she was mad, the whole world knew it. Another friend was obviously "Disgust." His eyes (bless him) stayed rolled. Me, though...? Nearly every single one of my friends called me "Joy."

...

I do feel joy most days:) In fact, I'd say I have a knack for finding joy—and seeking God—in the ordinary. But this past year, as the United States has become increasingly dangerous and violent, my "Joy" feels a bit cloudier. Sometimes, I find myself walking with Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Anxiety as if they were my very close friends—my companions. Sometimes, I even refer to them as such.

My companions surprise me, gently gripping my shoulders when the world feels unsafe or when it’s all too much to bear. They don't show their face every day, but this morning, they took their grip when I checked the news and saw some of the worst parts of humanity on display.

More files. More racism. More death. More hate.

It's in times like these that my friend Sadness reminds me that I am not numb to heartbreak, thanks be to God. My friends Anxiety and Fear, too, remind me that I cannot do this alone. I need support—especially when I feel afraid. And Anger just rages...

You Too?

Maybe you've felt it too: the grip of Sadness, Anxiety, Fear, and Anger. Maybe you've found yourself reading a headline that disgusts you or watching a video that takes your breath away. Maybe you've felt betrayed by an administration or angry at others for letting this happen. Whatever you feel, I'll tell you...

Advent People, I am weary.

I am weary of the murders. I am weary of the abuse of power. I am weary of the destruction of families. I am weary of racism's poison. I am weary of a government that is letting me down.

And so... I sit with Anger. I sit with Sorrow. I sit with Despair. And I listen to them.

Truth be told, it's all I know how to do.

Hope in Empire

I'll tell you one good thing that's come from this mess: I've learned a thing or two about hope—where it comes from and where it doesn't.

And let me just say... Thank God my hope is not in this administration. Or any administration.

Thank God my hope is not in the president. Thank God my hope is not in the United States of America. Thank God my hope is not in the promises of ICE, the police, or any other armed group of people. Thank God my hope is not in Empire.

And it's true: There is a weight resting on our hearts. But every day, we can remember: Our hope is in Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who was born during the reign of Herod, where abuse and crucifixions were the norm.

Jesus was no stranger to fear. He knew suffering. He knew of greed. He watched religious leaders get it wrong. Democracy wasn't even a thing, much less a corrupt one.

So this "Good News" we preach about? The scriptures we hold dear to our hearts? The work of God we admire and try to reproduce? That has always existed amongst evil. Amongst slavery, exile, and death. Our very Savior was born into it, and even then, he taught, preached, and praised—fighting for justice and letting his life speak. The corruption that surrounded Jesus didn't discourage his ministry; it fueled it. This is not for nothing.

Turn Your Eyes

Thousands of people are protesting. Thousands of people—young, old, tired, weary. They're hitting the streets, calling their lawmakers, spreading awareness. Even more are treating others with the dignity that they deserve.

There is hope in this darkness. There is light in the tunnel. But even if everything goes wrong... Our hope will be in a God who is always good, always there, and always loving.

Yes, I am weary, but I have a friend in myself. I have a friend in Jesus. And I have a friend in all of you. We have a friend in each other.

...

O soul, are you weary and troubled?

No light in the darkness you see?

There's light for a look at the Savior

And life more abundant and free

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in his wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of his glory and grace

Advent People, these are difficult days. But God is here, and until the things of earth grow strangely dim, let us link arms with one another. Let us find the strength to go on. And let us turn our eyes upon Jesus. Amen.

A Poem on Weariness

“Weariness feels like an ache in your bones, or a slow leak from the heart - a leak that causes hope to pool at your feet.

Weariness feels like the wind knocked out of you - all of a sudden, it’s impossible to breathe.

Weariness feels like an oversized coat. It catches on door handles and knocks over water glasses. You turn into a clumsy mess.

Weariness can hit you all at once - when the phone rings, when the bill arrives, when the New York Times sends you an alert.

But weariness can also hem and haw its way into your life, bit by bit, chipping away at resolve.

And one short poem cannot change this truth - the weary state of our grief-stricken hearts.

But one short poem can remind you the one thing we so often forget: that I can wear your jacket for a while. And we can try to stop the leak in your heart. And if that doesn’t work, then we’ll stand under the night sky to look at the stars and remember that we do not walk this valley alone.”

—Rev. Sarah A. Speed